This new book by Douglas Bey is "just what the Doctor ordered" for countless wives and girlfriends who are stymied by figuring out what their role should be when their men folk get depressed. It is an incredibly helpful manual on the types of depression including all the latest facts from medical science as well as how to cope with the various symptoms of depression. Dr. Bey is extremely specific about what to say and what not to say to the man who is depressed.( I think in fact that this book could be very useful even to mothers whose adult sons are depressed and the audience need not be limited to wives and girlfriends.) Because Dr. Bey has had years of experience treating depression in his own psychiatric practice his anecdotes are vital and vivid so that almost everyone can find some real person to identify with in this book. It is written very clearly and ends up being a short course on depression and its treatment but with a special emphasis on how to cope if you're a close relative of the depressed person. I cannot imagine a better book to give to someone who loves a depressed man and wants to understand what he needs.

-- Jacqueline Olds MD Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry Harvard Medical School Author of "The Lonely American"

Loving a Depressed Man is a strongly written, hopeful and reliable guide to the facts and myths of male depression. Gathering a wealth of research and anecdotal wisdom from 40 years of seeing depressed patients and their families, Bey addresses the concerns of spouses from initial diagnosis, with attending perplexity and frustration, through periods of shame and guilt, on through to long-term maintenance of a healthy life together that includes this "third party" to the relationship. The overall message of this book is clear and positive - you are not alone (though it may feel that way at times), you are deeply loved and appreciated (though your spouse may not always be able to express this well), and your marriage relationship can be strong, growing in affection and commitment (even when you might feel like throwing in the towel).

As a social worker, I especially recommend this book for its attention to the psychosocial aspects of depression. Douglas Bey is a refreshing example of a psychiatrist who deeply understands that holistic treatment of depression extends far beyond the pill bottle. Depression is as much a "family" matter as it is a chemical imbalance in one individual. While Bey does expertly discuss medications and their possible side effects, the book focuses mainly on strengthening relations, hope, humor, confidence and morale as therapeutic coping strategies in people's lives."

-- Daniel Liechty - The School of Social Work, Illinois State University